Hi Reader,

I can’t get Beth Dutton out of my mind. Or Kendall Roy.

Which should make the screenwriters of Yellowstone and Succession very happy.

They’ve created a compelling and complex cast of characters. And they also wrote stories that are just as compelling, how far someone can go, and how many ethical and moral lines can be crossed in the quest for power.

Some of the most popular shows of the last few decades have themes related to power: House of Cards, Empire, Game of Thrones, Sopranos. The list goes on.

Perhaps because it gives writers enough to string out 7, 8, or 9 series. But just as likely because of the central role power plays in the human experience. All these shows share a theme—that the quest for power becomes self-perpetuating.

The goal, the target that power is aiming at — whether it’s to expand your empire, preserve your ranch, or take over the family business — recedes in the distance as the quest for ever more power becomes the ultimate goal.

The goal pulls you forward, but you never arrive. There is no final destination. The quest itself becomes the goal. There's no finish line. There is no there there.

When it comes to that kind of power, enough is never enough.

​Studies of status-seeking behavior show that in societies with greater income inequality, there are increased levels of status-seeking behavior among all income groups, even the very rich.

Both the poor and the rich feel more anxious about their status in unequal societies. And the greater amount of status-seeking, the more aggressive and destructive power dynamics that occur.

But ambition, goal-seeking, achievement orientation, and even the drive for power itself are not, per se, bad things.

They have utility.

They get us out of our warm and cozy bed on a cold morning. They make us pick up the phone and call someone we don’t know to ask for a favor. They drive us to walk over and introduce ourselves to others, work hard to make things happen, and figure out how to get along with difficult people.

Power is medicine. It’s the dosage that makes the difference.

In the right amount, it’s beneficial. But too much, or taken at the wrong time, in the wrong way, and it’s a poison.

And all of this points to something I’ve written about before: it’s the striving for power, the striving for external sources of power, and not only the having of power, that drives people to use the negative behaviors we come to associate with poor use of power.

When we’re striving for power, we fall easily into the trap of allowing the ends to justify the means.

We fall prey to ethical fading, when the outcome — winning, solving a problem, financial gain — obscures the ethical dimensions of our decision.

We fall prey to self-deception, using euphemisms to get around the hard cold reality of what we’re doing. We’re not committing fraud, we’re just engaging in ‘aggressive accounting practices.’ We’re not overbilling, we’re just ‘rounding up.’

When we’re striving for power, anything that blocks us from achieving our goals becomes the enemy.

​Studies show that deviant and aggressive behavior is a typical response to situations in which people are blocked from achieving their goals. Goal blockage not only threatens attaining material good or resource, but a positive self-image as well. Threats to one's ego can also lead to aggressive behavior.

When we're striving for external sources of power, we place our sense of self-worth in someone else's hands.

We chase clicks and likes. We care what others are saying about us and adjust our behavior to fit in, to please, to gain acceptance. We drop our values and adopt those of others. The more you chase power out there, the emptier you feel inside.

Jeremy Strong, the actor who played Kendall Roy in Succession sums it up well:

“These characters have all the trappings of power, but nothing in their lives or upbringing instilled in them any sense of personal power. If anything, their father and mother took that away from them and left them feeling powerless, which explains this need for Kendall to overcompensate and try too hard and overshoot the mark. … He’s lost his moral compass. He’s lost his integrity. He’s lost everything.”

While the quest for power makes for great television, it's not so good for our societies, our democracies, and our workplaces.

It's an ancient problem that's not going away anytime soon. But there is an ancient solution, one that's just as old as the quest for power.

Turn inward. Set your own benchmarks for success, ones that connect you to your truest values, not what others say or do.

As Lao Tzu cautioned, “Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.”

Rather than strive for power, strive for freedom. Because placing your sense of self-worth on what people say and think, on how well you’re doing relative to others — is a vicious, addictive cycle.

Strive for your goals. Work hard to achieve success.

But just make sure that the goals, praise, and outcomes you’re striving for are those that you define and that best serve your deepest and truest values.

Thanks for reading.

– Julie

P.S. If you want to read more about defining and aiming for your own outcomes, read my book, Power: A User’s Guide​
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